Belief & Technique for Epicurean Sharehouse Management
Share and share and like.
Open always to Love and in meantime Horizontal Refreshment.
No hierarchy and sharehouse manager is necessary function, like septic tank only he smells better.
Sharehouse does not suck and is holy microcosm of Divine Universal Enlightenment and members go forth and bring Divine Universal Enlightenment to all they encounter except for people at DMV. Those fuckers are hopeless.
Be open and open-minded to receive Divine Universal Enlightenment only ask for it and you shall receive it immediately. Maybe give it a few minutes...
Money is not evil but enables fun and all transactions automatic.
To present cash upon arrival is divine act and doing so makes one radiate with inner light, never wanting for Love or Horizontal Refreshment.
Guests are extension and expression of house member and should never suck.
Guests are holy additions to house rendering all weekends equal.
Free-flow conversation always listening when not talking is verbal oral Krispy-Kreme ecstasy and learn to avoid small talk.
To cook and eat and drink are godlike but in sharehouse caste system those who clean are Brahmins.
In sharehouse village all are parents/children responsible at play and looking out for all, especially during drunkenness.
Bitching is what dog do.
Never cook for one person but prepare ambrosia and pour nectar for all who have hunger and thirst.
Pork is not evil but holy pig is intelligent and dignified revered consumed with joy thanks and much Spirit.
Like Saint Julia Child fear not food nor drink but consume with passion and then stop at perfection. Or not too long thereafter...
Impossible too much garlic or too many onions only ginger use sparingly.
What you eat is eating you.
What you drink is drinking you.
What you smoke is smoking you.
Who you love are loving you.
Never have a third martini.
As ferryboat pulls away from mainland dock all stress/anxiety is gathered up and visually deposited onto random mainland house that grows smaller until house turns into speck and disappears along with stress/anxiety. Sucks to be people in that house.
To clean drip tray of kegerator and coffeemaker or any part of sharehouse is to purify soul.
Fire is life-giving and requires sober oversight when handled by mischievous brother.
Love is opposite of money and spending it freely makes one richer.
Love is like riding a bike coasting along in bliss only to suddenly take pole to nuts.
Do something unasked for other house member once per day. Do this for person with whom you are least acquainted and no matter what happens upon that day you will have performed this act that cleanses soul, combats despair and brings unexpected Horizontal Refreshment.
Time is elastic and hurrynot going from A to B but stop at C and perform small house task when needed expressing faith in abundant sharehouse always open welcome thank you the management.
Sharehouse like campsite always left in better condition.
The Indian movie is always playing.
Smoke to get high, not to die and always mindful of nonsmokers.
Septic tank is not wastebasket, but holy liquid processor and must never receive garbage or unnecessary paper or Hoffa.
Mindful of weather and storms and shut all windows and closed screen door is temple in two dimensions.
City can be cruel inhuman hamsterwheel and Higher Island is holy respite/example/pathway/E-ZPass Lane to Paradise.
There are no rules only spirit of rules to be understood and interpreted always in flux modified for situation only no dogs or cokeheroin or cigarettesmoking indoors.
Jacuzzi is holy place of community sharing water life with all.
Cleansing oneself before entering Jacuzzi is direct expression of respect, love and desire for continuity of all that is good.
Sharehouse like circus thrives on idiosyncrasies and all contribute through individuality.
Sharehouse like circus is pure fun and adults like children once again eternally.
Sharehouse like summercamp only not doing anything for first time.
If doing anything for first time, include sharehouse owner.
When making trip to house from beach bring back all that everyone needs that you can carry easy.
All cooking for others is divine and indulge like Saint Julia Child fearing neither fat nor consequences.
Lunchtime hot dogs are health food that warm soul and outweigh composition of processed lips and assholes.
Manager is carrying burlap sack of stones and members take a stone by itself is not heavy and smooth and cool talisman placed in pocket wards off stress/anxiety and syncs up with Universe like compass magnet locking in its tractor beam Love and Horizontal Refreshment.
Sharehouse exists on same spectrum but is polar opposite of hotel.
Surprise someone arriving at dock on sunny day with icy sunset cocktail not too potent but strong in Spirit.
Comfort and function are never fashionable but timeless like Ella.
There is no political correctness only no room for criminals or chiselers or Creationist Apocalyptic American Taliban.
There is no sword but rotisserie spit cooking evenly on all sides until perfection.
Glass is perfection, blasted and blown from elemental sand organic reused until broken back to sand. Plastic and styrofoam are chemical landfill ozone destroyers oozing with Cheneycinogens only for trips to beach and never indoors.
Never waste anything.
Never drink reflexively but when you want in quantity for relaxation and never punishment as expressed by Party Animal Frederick Douglass.
Either way, aspirin and ibuprofen in every bathroom.
Fear not vacuum nor juicer for sand-free surfaces and fresh citrus are beach ecstasy.
Ocean is largest entity and proof of God-Jesus-Buddha-Krishna-Allah-Oprah and connectedness of all things.
Never go straight from bar to house but stop at beach and give thanks in black and white. This is also a good time/place to puke.
Lounge and loll like infants in crib of present moment.
Quarter shares like appetizer with no entrée.
Quarter shares like foreplay then night-night.
Larger share makes experience ongoing All-U-Can-Eat fluid ecstasy still burning like pilot light in offseason.
There is no offseason.